Rehearsal dinner can be anything from a simple picnic in the park to an elaborate themed feast. Whether you rent out a four-starrestaurant or order in pizza is up to you! Go all out to match your theme or save the big guns for the wedding and stick to a few very simple floral decorations.
Etiquette
The groom's parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner, though the couple, the bride's parents or both sets of parents may host it instead. Who scores an invite? Some people include out-of-town guests and some the entire wedding guest list, but the only folks who must be invited are the couple's immediate family, the officiant and members of the wedding party (the ring bearer and flower girl are optional, but you should invite their parents), along with their partners.
The party itself can be as fancy or casual as you like. The rehearsal dinner is the perfect opportunity to let your families hang out together in a more casual atmosphere. Sometimes, the more formal the wedding, the less formal the rehearsal dinner should be. It's not tacky at all! The formal wedding will be nicer and more fun because the key players are already comfortable with each other. And a casual rehearsal dinner doesn't have to be unstylish -- you can go to a cool Italian restaurant or popular pizza joint and have a blast.
THE EVENT
The primary purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to encourage the couple's families and attendants to get to know each other. To that end, a cocktail hour with lots of mingling is a marvelous way to kick off the merry-making. That's also a perfect time for the couple to hand out gifts to attendants and parents to thank them for their support. Just before the main course is served, make sure everyone's glass is filled for toasts.
Traditionally, the evening's host (usually the groom's dad) goes first, welcoming the guests and congratulating the couple. The bride's father is customarily next, followed by members of the wedding party and/or anyone else who wants to say a few words. The bride and groom may also toast each other as well as their parents and attendants and thank everyone for coming.
FOOD
It depends on the type of rehearsal dinner you're planning — anything may be appropriate. If you're planning a theme, use that as a cue for what to serve. If not, consider asking closer friends to name their favorite dishes and include some of those on the menu. And don't forget dessert. Anything goes for the rehearsal dinner, but some couples opt to serve a groom's cake — typically a chocolate and/or liqueur-soaked flavor in contrast to the traditional white wedding cake (though it can certainly be any flavor the groom chooses).
Tips N Rules
The guest list is pretty much up to you, it can be as simple as you two, your immediate families, and wedding party and their spouses and/or significant others. Or, you can make it a bash and invite all your out-of-town guests. It's a very good opportunity to maximize your quality time with visiting friends and relatives. You'll be more relaxed than at the wedding, and you'll have more time to chat.
The invitations depend on your dinner. If it will be a big party with lots of out-of-town guests in a hotel banquet room or somewhere equally official, then you should send invitations. They can be either formally engraved or handwritten on cards, depending on the occasion's formality. You'll also want people to RSVP so you'll have a head count for the caterer. If your rehearsal dinner will be fairly low-key, a pizza party or buffet formula, then you don't really need "official" invitations. Just make sure everyone knows where they need to be and when.
